“The dress must follow the body of the woman, not the body following the shape of the dress”
Hubert de Givenchy
In our society we are constantly being told who, how and what we should be, From how our bodies should look to what we should wear.
This is not only extremely overwhelming but detrimental to our wellbeing. We are under pressure to believe that if we look like someone else, we can be someone else and that will make us happier.
But the opposite is true.
Looking and feeling good in your own skin leads to a sense of empowerment in all areas of your life.
I, too, struggled with embracing my body. It was my obsession, not just what I put into my body but also what I put on my body. Sometimes I would dress myself to hide behind fashion. At other points in my life I would dress to impress or attract others.
What I was really searching for was a sense of belonging.
I was obsessed with following trends. In hindsight, it seems ridiculous that I believed what I wore defined me as a person.
Rather than being true to myself, I was dressing for others.
For me, cultivating my own style has been a life changing experience. Just like cultivating a meditation practice. I went deeper on my inner journey and I began to explore my wardrobe, style and my relationship with my body. This helped me learn to embrace being my authentic self, instead of trying to fit into the box or others’ expectations.
I finally stopped trying to be someone else.
This boosted my confidence and made me feel uplifted, and, ultimately, more myself.
Although style can rank low on your priority list, it is a proven powerful tool to help practice healthy self-love and self-acceptance.
As I continue along my own journey, I’ve learned that by playing with style, I have transformed my relationship with myself and it has literally changed my life.
Here are 5 ways to help you embrace your body through style:
1. Love where you’re at
Stop waiting for the right moment, it doesn’t exist. Whether it is losing weight, moving house or having more money, there really is no better moment than right now.
Often I hear women say, “I can’t wear that until I have lost or put on a kilo or two”… but why?
We are constantly living for something that hasn’t happened yet, instead of embracing the moment and our bodies as they are.
When we are able to live in the moment and accept where we are in all aspects of our lives we become more present, we feel more gratitude for who we are and what we have.
I encourage you to incorporate self love practices to cultivate the relationship you have with yourself and your body. Consider setting some style and body “love” goals of what you would like to achieve and when.
Writing them down is key. You can also find an accountability partner, which is always fun!
2. Change the conversation with yourself
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself on a daily basis. Observe what comes up when you look in the mirror and when you are getting dressed in the morning.
It’s likely that you have already internalised some of your style rules; “I can’t wear that because…” “that doesn’t suit me because…” notice these thoughts and train yourself to change them to more positive thoughts like “I am going to explore wearing this new colour today…” “I am going to embrace a new aspect of style and try something different” etc.
Ask yourself if you bully yourself or are you speaking to yourself with love and kindness?
Often we are so unaware of how we talk to ourselves. Our inner voice is so subtle and so powerful, regardless of whether it is a positive or negative dialogue.
Be open to trying new items, new styles, colours and fabrics that were on your so called “forbidden” list, you may well be surprised!
Choose to rewire yourself into talking to yourself in a more loving and kind way.
3. Know thyself
Knowing what looks good on you is half the battle when it comes to embracing your body through style, but it’s also about finding what feels good.
In the styling world we often hear this idea of women’s body shapes compared to fruits: apple, pear etc.
This is useful to:
- Understand how certain cuts fit you
- Learn more about what you can wear to highlight certain parts of yourself
- Know which shapes and forms balance out your silhouette
However, I think it can be, depending on where we are on our personal self-love and acceptance journey another way of putting women into a box and conditioning to believe we can or can’t wear something because we are a “certain” body type and that we must try to make ourselves look a different way to fit in, which can ultimately emphasis negative body image and that there is something wrong with you.
I suggest finding out what you like, why you like it and what feels good to you.
The more you know what you like and what feels good for your unique taste, the easier it is to find a style that expresses who you are.
4. Highlight your assets
Highlighting what you love about yourself is empowering and makes you feel good, rather than camouflaging what you believe are your “imperfections”, this is disempowering as your focus is on what you don’t like about yourself rather than what you do like about yourself.
Maybe it is your legs or your arms, whatever parts of you that you love, look for silhouettes that emphasize those parts and feel good to you.
Get rid of the clothes that no longer fit you, that are too tight or too big or the ones that you use to camouflage yourself with and that disempower you. Basically, get rid of anything that no longer serves you for whatever reason, be here in the now!
Letting go of clothes that no longer serve us is liberating, it creates space for the new to come into your life.
When you have a wardrobe that makes you feel confident, YOU shine in all your beauty.
5. Develop your own “unique” Style Story
Never try to be someone else, use others as inspiration. Be really aware when searching for style inspo that you are not emulating anyone as that is when we can often fall into the comparison spiral.
To create your style story collect pictures and images of items, looks, colours and fabrics that you like, don’t overthink this process or let any negative thoughts come up.
I always tell my clients to spend hours in the changing room, to try everything on that they like, using their mood board to inspire.
By investing time in this way you can really get more of a feel for how things look and feel on you, what works and what doesn’t, apart from it being a really fun experience and even better with a friend.
Developing your style story takes time, enjoy and embrace this experience, it is a way of getting to know yourself on a deeper level and learning to love the skin you’re in.
So there you have it my 5 ways of embracing your body through style, love is healing and the more we learn to love who we are and where we are in our lives, the more we can truly embrace every aspect of who we are, from our inner world to our outer world.
If you are currently struggling with embracing your body and style, I can help you transform the way you feel about yourself from the inside out book your complimentary call here.
