“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the most beautiful of them all…”
Unknown
It was a cold and dark rainy day
You know that typical London weather….that we all can’t wait to escape from. I could smell the roasting coffee and hear the rain beating down on my window… yet here I was standing in front of the mirror, totally mesmerised, staring at myself drowning in black baggy clothes and wafer thin.
Have you ever felt like you like you can’t see your true reflection…..?
That rainy day in London I certainly did….I realised that for so many years I had lived a life of complete misery, sadness, addiction and a loss of connection with myself, those I loved and the world around me.
Having an addictive personality and continually searching for perfection, whilst at the same time being extremely hard on myself, I was numb.
Addicted to starving myself and bent on self-destruction
I became someone with no joy, gratitude or happiness, and I started taking it out on my body. This is the one thing I felt in direct control of.
My diet consisted of apples and the odd banana, and my daily routine was working out in the gym and figuring out how I could eat as little as possible without anyone realising. Having an eating disorder sprinkles itself into every single aspect of your life… From your career, relationships, health and to your spirituality and friendships — it makes you withdraw from the world and disappear from your own life.
The real problem was I was struggling with being seen.
I was scared of my own innate power so I would hide behind my clothes… thinking…. no one could see me there. Disappearing was my way of crying out “to be seen”.
Staying unseen is comfortable but at the same time soul destroying, we don’t grow there.
How can you be secure in who you are if you are afraid to show your authentic self even to your self?
Being seen requires you to fully see YOURSELF first, in order for me to see my true self I knew I had to change.
This change came when I went inwards
I began to connect with the lost parts of myself. In fact, it was in the midst of Ustrasana, a heart opening yoga pose, that I broke down, I hit rock bottom, enough was enough.
Having found Yoga and meditation and the way it made me feel literally saved my life. It was, and is, my medicine. My meditation journey started with a minute of meditation a day, literally all I could manage was to close my eyes for a minute and connect to my breath. I then built on this to 2 minutes, then 3 and so on. Micro habits!
Tapping into my innate power is what triggered me to change. Meditation & Yoga have helped me get through some of the toughest, darkest moments and have taken me from self hatred and a distorted body image to falling back in love with myself, accepting and appreciating what I see in the mirror and discovering my inner beauty.
Living in Gratitude
Gratitude has been another life changer for me. In the midst of my eating disorder, when I first began to practice gratitude, I started with being grateful for the simple things in life; the miracle of my breath, the roof over my head, the bright blue sky on a summers day, the affectionate nudge from my cat.
Living life with gratitude is choosing to focus your time and attention on what you appreciate. Where your focus goes your energy goes! Gratitude has helped me to appreciate my journey, all that I am and where I am right now.
There is No where to hide
I realised that this applies to every aspect of my life, not just in my personal life but in my business. I knew that if I wanted to have a successful business I needed to keep peeling back the layers to be at the forefront of my business and step into another dimension of being seen. I had to put myself out there. I couldn’t hide.
Even though at the beginning I struggled with being seen and my photos, videos and content weren’t even that good, I knew I had to start somewhere. The fear of promoting a workshop and no one signing up and working with my first clients feeling out of depth felt almost paralysing, but I knew I had to get comfortable in this new dimension of being seen.
Being seen means taking ownership of your life
Being seen means there is nowhere else to hide.
I have learnt that if it feels uncomfortable then you’re doing something right. As I continue to stretch out of my comfort zone and I’m not going to lie, it still feels uncomfortable and the resistant comes up, but I move through it with grace and gratitude. I grow and expand into the magnetic woman I was born to be, I finally own my power and let myself be seen.
We can choose to hide or we can choose to show up and be seen. The choice is yours!
I found a way not to just live… but to thrive, prosper and shine as my authentic self.
Today, as I stand here in my power
I am a Style Consultant & Confidence Coach and I’m here to share with you how I went from a life of misery drowned in black baggy clothes, constantly trying to hide away to transforming my life, learning to love the skin I’m in, and setting up my own thriving business.
I’m still on the path of personal development and growth, we all should be, because the day we stop learning we die. I am constantly peeling back the layers, but I know from that cold dark rainy London day that all I can see now is a bright future.
So, what is one thing you can do today to thrive, prosper and shine and step into your magnetic power to become the woman you were born to be.
Life is too short to hide, it’s time to show yourself to the world, Don’t hesitate to reach out for a chat if you would like some guidance on how to let go of your fear of being seen and step into your magnetic power, I am here to help you – book your call here.
